If I Picked the Academy Awards

Having not seen most of the movies nominated for anything for the Oscars tonight (not do most of them look interesting to me), I made my own picks for “best of” 2006:

Best Actor:
Sacha Baron Cohen - Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Best non-English Speaking Movie:
Jet Li's Fearless

Best Animated Movie:
Over the Hedge

Best Movie:
V for Vendetta

Best Visual Effects:
X-Men: The Last Stand

Best Song:
Snakes on a Plane (Bring It) by Cobra Starship - Snakes of a Plane

Best Soundtrack:
Apocalypto

Best Supporting Actress:
Natalie Portman - V for Vendetta

Best Supporting Actor:
Christian Bale - The Prestige

Don't feel like deciding for more categories right now.

That's Sick...Oh Wait That's Me

      For starters I have probably the worst flu I've had in years. I've been down for two full days now and a third looks inevitable. I've had triple digit temperatures pushing 105F and that's really not fun at all. My dad got sick on Monday and is still out of it, I started feeling really bad Thursday afternoon and I’m doing better than he is. I can at least function and may possibly go for a quick run tonight to get some serious fresh air into my system. I’ve still got a fever over 100F but feel pretty good nonetheless. I’ve also been instructed by my mom that I cannot go to church tomorrow morning since I’ll still be contagious.
      In other medical news of national importance, scientists at Children's Hospital Oakland Research Institute think they have discovered an enzyme called SPL (sphingosine phosphate lyase) that inhibits cancer cells from growing. They are not sure which specific forms of cancer are affected by this, so clinical trials are expected to follow soon. Read the whole story from Mercury News here.
      Not to be outdone, Canadian scientists have decided that inhibiting cancer growth is lame and that there are better ways to deal with cancer. So they discovered that dichloroacetate, or DCA, which is used to treat some metabolic disorders not only inhibits cancer growth but in many cases shrinks and kills the cancer cells. For sure it is known to kill brain, lung, breast, and is believed to work its magic on most human forms of cancer. The best part is that it is that DCA is really cheap to make. The worst part is that because it’s so cheap no pharmaceutical company is going to mass-produce it or run enough human lab tests to get it certified as a cancer drug by the FDA since there’s not enough money to be made from it to make it worth their investment. The side effects of such a chemical are nasty for most people, but not nearly as bad as chemo, plus there’s no evidence that it damages healthy tissue while killing the cancerous tissue. You can find links to it here and here and even here. Supposedly you can buy the stuff at most chemical supply stores but is not recommended and is probably dangerous as dosage isn't known.
      Any other medical news? Lets see...Flu...Check!...Cancer...Check!...Guess that's it on that front.
      In other news, the House wasted the whole week debating if they were going to officially say that they don’t like idea of keeping troops in Iraq. I wish I could do so little in a work week. But thankfully we all know that the government that governs least governs best. They really didn’t get anything else done and we can thank them for it. The casualty numbers keep climbing in Iraq too (3,133 as of 17/02/2007); our total number of killed troops across all branches of the military is now almost 1% of what our Army alone lost in WW2. That’s also almost 5.5% of the 57,200 soldiers we lost during the D-Day invasion. That’s probably less than the number of US citizens killed in the past year by illegal immigrants, but I haven’t written a paper on that so I don’t have national statistics for the immigration status of criminals.

Random Quote of the moment:
    He’s definitely not the brightest fish in the cookie jar.

Flunking Failure

Got nothing better to post at the moment, so here's my essay as mentioned in my previous post:

        Carl Singleton is pleading with the academic community in this essay What Our Education System Needs is More F’s to do just that, to give failing grades to students who fail a subject in school. Teachers have long been giving passing grades to students when they are not deserved. Singleton claims that this has been true for the last twenty years and started by “giving D’s to students who should have received firm F’s” (Singleton, 130). This resulted in a shift downward in letter grades for students with a B now becoming average, C’s replaced D’s as being below average, and the D essentially replaced the F (130). Now that students were receiving D’s rather than F’s they were able to pass on to the next level of their education, regardless of the fact that they did not have a solid understanding of the material. Singleton argues that teachers are also reluctant to flunk students because a failing student could be an indicator of deficient teaching. Not wanting to have the stigma of being a poor teacher, many teachers pass students in order to evade this disgrace.
        With students being passed along without achieving the acceptable level of proficiency in a subject, the problems were merely passed along to the next teacher. As a result Singleton points out an increase in the number of illiterate high-school graduates who have passed through the system rather than being forced to repeat courses that they should have failed (130). With students who should have failed being allowed to pass, those who should indeed pass are being held to lower standards than they otherwise would. This substandard system has lead to the production of “…low-quality teachers who never should have been certified in the first place” (Singleton, 130). As a result many freshman college students are taking classes in basic reading, writing, and math because they failed to learn these basic educational skills while in grade school. This ultimately leads to a drain on college resources which would otherwise be used for teaching higher level courses.
        If these students were sent home from school with failing grades instead of passing ones, Singleton argues that this “…would force most parents to deal with the realities of their children’s failure while it’s happening and when it is yet possible to do something about it” (130). Yes, some parents may not be able or willing to help their children, but at least they would be aware that a problem exists. By having parents knowledgeable about their students’ shortcomings in school they may force their children to dedicate more time to study and less to other activities. Singleton brings up a quote by former Governor Lester Maddox, “‘We’ll get a better grade of prisons when we get a better grade of prisoners’” (130). The same can be said for schools in that better schools will require better students. Better students are those who have learned what is required of them, whether this requires more parental involvement and effort on the students’ part or if it means drastic measures such repeating a class if they did not fully comprehend the required materials. Issuing failing grades where they are due may be the only way to bring about such awareness.
        Once students are given the grades they truly earn the school system will begin to right itself. Singleton explains that neither “Higher salaries, more stringent certifications procedures, [nor] getting back to basics…” have had significant impact on the quality problems faced by today’s educational system (130). Singleton is arguing that by failing the many students who have not earned a passing grade the educators will take notice of the systematic problems and begin to fix them. Once only passing students are allowed to graduate from high-school – while those who fail are forced to repeat until they do pass – everyone who passes through high-school will be literate and able to function academically at the required level. With a higher caliber of students graduating from high-school, colleges will have to devote fewer resources to classes meant to catch students up to the level where they should already be. Less time being spent learning how to read or write or handle basic math problems means more time to spend on further studies. This would usher new teachers into the school system from these graduating classes who have passed all of their subjects in school and who will be able to help students from falling through the gaping cracks that have let so many before them slip through. This perpetual cycle of requiring students to meet the standards set for them will increase the quality of education for all by keeping students until they have mastered the material and passing students only when they are ready.
        Singleton implores teachers to give F’s “…by the dozens, hundreds, thousands, even millions…” if necessary in order to flunk the failure out of the system until such a time comes when the failure is overcome and students pass to a satisfactory level, and are then able to succeed at the next level of their education (130). Singleton makes assumptions that failing grades will wake everyone up to the problems of our public school system and ignores the possibility that some people simply don’t care that students are undeservedly passing. The teachers want to look good by not having failing students in their classes; this is a disservice to their students as they slip behind in their learning, yet continue to pass as if they understood the material required of them. The students now believe they are learning at an acceptable level as they are passing all of their subjects. The harsh reality that students are unprepared finally hits them when they leave high-school. By that point they flood into the colleges to take basic courses to make up for the deficiencies from high-school. Only after this will many of them finally be prepared to pursue their higher education or start a career.

The Update of DOOM!

    Not really, but I’ve got Invader Zim on my mind at the moment and that sounds like something Zim would say. But for an update on my squirrel eaten pizza, it turned out to be a rat. I know this because I saw it a few days ago when I was getting the pizza box to throw it out. The little rat was sitting on top of the box when I opened the BBQ lid. It just stared at me for about 15 seconds before jumping out of the grill, climbed the rail on my deck, and jumped into the cedar tree growing next to my deck.
    I’m heading out East Thursday morning to the Snake River Classic Bible Quiz tournament in Meridian, Idaho where my team will be competing Friday and Saturday. I’m not thrilled about cramming 14 people into two minivans for the 10 hour drive since I know how some of these people pack. I'll be catching up on my reading as I should be getting Kicking the Sacred Cow from the library tomorrow.
    On another totally unrelated topic, I’m currently writing a paper for my English class about why teachers need to fail more students. I’ll probably post it here either on Wednesday night or when I get back from Idaho.

Random Quote:
“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.”

Squirrels ate my Pizza

Yes, some squirrels ate my pizza. I generally keep food outside in my barbeque that won’t fit in my refrigerator since it is kept about the same temperature outside. I probably wouldn’t keep things like meat or milk outside since the temps aren’t consistent, but I put a pizza out there two days ago. I keep things like pizza in the BBQ since it is enclosed therefore bugs and critters will leave it alone. I guess that is no longer the case as I went out to get the last few pieces of pepperoni for breakfast this afternoon only to find holes chewed in the box and all of the toppings missing from my pizza. My only guess as to how something got in there was that it crawled through a hole where ashes and grease drain out of the bottom and into a pan. Some squirrel would have had to jump up and grab the grease pan, then squeeze through the hole and into the grill in order to get access to the pizza box. There was a slice that appeared to be untouched, but I didn’t feel like giving my immune system a heavy workout this weekend.

We'd Still Have Snow if it wasn't for Global Warming

The snow finally melted. This is the first time in my life that snow has remained on the ground in Seattle for 10 days straight. Today the rain melted the remainder.
   On a related note, the Weather Channel has a show dedicated exclusively to "global warming" where the host, Heidi Cullen, now argues and any meteorologist or climatologist who denies human pollution as the cause of global warming should be stripped of their credentials by the American Meteorological Society. Obviously the planet has never warmed up before and we would still be living in an ice age if humans hadn't started burning things, releasing environmentally harmful gases into the atmosphere.
I still don't know a group more dogmatic than mainstream scientists. If a scientist proposes an alternate theory to anything mainstream, that still fits in with all data available, it most likely will not be published in any journals because it is different. For example, New Scientist had an article claiming that the only reason that the Big Bang is the predominant theory in cosmology is because no one is willing to fund the research of scientists who argue otherwise.
   On an unrelated topic, Congress is trying to raise the minimum wage in a few parts of the country, except in territories where Pelosi's constituents have large manufacturing facilities.
   I guess that's it for my random update.

Random Quote of the Moment:
   Yeah, well what you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar.
      -Jayne in Serenity

*EDIT*
I lied, there's still some ice and snow around here, the warmish rain hasn't melted it all quite yet.

Plan for World Peace

Many people blame the USA for not having world peace. People hate that we have some freedoms and money that they do not have. If we removed ourselves from the rest of the world, all of the world's problems will magically disappear. So here's a plan to bring on world peace:

The Plan for Peace
(credited to Robin Williams)

"I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan."

1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past &present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those "good ole boys", we will never "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave.We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH... learn it... or LEAVE... Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

10 Funny Lines

Here are the top ten Star Wars lines which were improved by substituting a word with "pants".

10:
I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your pants.

9:
Governer Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's pants.

8:
In his pants you will find a new definition of pain and suffering.

7:
Your pants, you will not need them.

6:
You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.

5:
I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.

4:
Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.

3:
The Force is strong in my pants.

2:
You are unwise to lower your pants.

1:
I find your lack of pants disturbing.

Honorable Mentions:

I'd just as soon pants a Wookiie!

Don't pants me again, Admiral.

Taken from Keeper of Lists, Top 243 Star Wars Lines Improved By Replacing A Word With "Pants"

Is It War Yet?

Wednesday night, Mexican gunmen attacked a US National Guard outpost in Arizona. What was the official US response to having members of our military attacked on US soil by a foreign invading party? Nothing.

Thursday, Bush announced that he wants illegal immigrants to be eligible to collect social security checks. I think there’s something wrong with this picture.

The Terrorists are Among Us Already

The Racketeering Institution for Antagonizing Americans, aka the RIAA, announced last week that it couldn’t care less about music artists and their well being when it presented its case to the federal Copyright Royalty Judges to lower the amount of royalties they are required to pay artists and publishers. There is apparently a law placed back in 1981 that guides how much artists are to receive for their published works. As we have all seen over the past six years the RIAA has sued countless children, old widows, and thousands of other people for stealing music through the internet, which is stealing directly from the artists who create this music. Now, the organization that terrorizes in the name of starving artists is saying that the artists are being paid too much. I don’t think I’m going to be buying too many CDs in the near future out of protest. Go see your favorite group in concert, buy their merchandise, but please don’t support the RIAA by buying their CDs. “Steal” those from the internet, there are better ways to support your beloved musicians that don’t support American terrorism. This isn't that hard as very few good CDs have been released this year.Read the full article here.

On a similar note, the Mighty Punishers of Anxious Americans, aka the MPAA, announced that they don’t want people to watch movies in their homes. Apparently many people are setting up illegal home theaters in their homes in which to view movies in a way that is not intended for home movie viewing, according to the MPAA. Theoretically, when you buy a DVD you are technically purchasing the right for yourself to view that movie and no more. If you have 6 people watching a movie with you, technically you need to own copies for each individual watching, otherwise you would be denying the MPAA “the revenue that would be generated from DVD sales” for every other individual watching this movie. Thus to keep from losing money, the MPAA is currently lobbying Congress to require all individuals who have a home theater to license their theaters with the MPAA for a set fee. Read the article here if you must.

What is the MPAA’s definition of a home theater? A home theater is any home setup with a “television larger than 29" with stereo sound and at least two comfortable chairs, couch, or futon” in the same room. My bedroom does not count as a home theater even though I have a 6 channel sound system with a 90" projected screen, but it doesn't count as I have no chairs in my room. Yay! I’ve been good about keeping my money out of the hands of the MPAA for most of this past year, but a recent glut of good movies have been released into the theaters which I decided I really wanted to see. I still say you should fight the system and “rob” the MPAA of their potential profits by borrowing DVDs from your friends or inviting friends and family over for a movie watching party. But if you must feed the beast with your money, I’d recommend Apocalypto*, Eragon, The Prestige, Stranger Than Fiction, or Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan**. I am also told that Déjà vu, Casino Royale, and Deck the Halls are good movies but I have not seen them so I cannot confidently recommend them at this time. I guess I have been giving them business as they have released a number of good movies of late.


First Amendment (proposed by TSW): If the artists are self-published, or are on an independent label then by all means buy their CDs if they are to your liking; this will not bring funds to the RIAA cartel


*Neemund does not recommend that children under the age of 15 see this movie
**Neemund does not recommend that children under the age of 12 see this movie

Not formal enough?

Apparently the Christmas party tonight is officially the "Elevate Formal Christmas Party." I was also informed by both Brenda and Melissa that black BDU pants and my tux t-shirt are not considered formal enough. I guess I’ve got laundry to do now.

Ice, Ice, Baby!

No, I'm not ready to dig out the Vanilla Ice tapes. But I didn't have school on Tuesday thanks to ice everywhere. I got up and ready for school, only to find out that there wasn’t any. What did I do? It should be obvious, I went back to bed for five more hours of sleep. I then assisted my sisters in putting Christmas lights on our house, I kept the fire burning in our wood stove, and I drove up the hill to the library; which sadly was closed due to “dangerous road conditions”. I finished all of my reading for my business law class and worked on my paper which is due at 11:30AM PST Wednesday, assuming there is class.
The temperatures outside have dropped into the teens in Fahrenheit, I have not seen temps this cold in Seattle since 1993. It’s already colder now than it was last night. The difference is that it is very humid right now, everything already has a nice layer of frost on it, and sunrise isn’t for another 7 hours and temperatures aren’t expected to rise above freezing. The road in front of my house already has a nice layer of black ice on it. Driving will not be safe on Wednesday as black ice isn’t fun, and most people around here are idiots. IF I get my paper done, and IF there isn’t school tomorrow, I’m temped to drive downtown just to watch people get into accidents on the hills. People need to realize that if you are sliding down a hill, pushing harder on your breaks is only going to make things worse.

Hail to the Flake!

It snowed most of the day yesterday. Sadly, most of it did not stick. Even more sadly, most of it that stuck has melted already. This means that it will refreeze in the night, leaving everything with a thick coat of ice in the morning. Hopefully there will be enough to cancel morning classes @ school as I really need to get some extra sleep and finish my Business Law project.

I went shopping last night

I think the picture says it all.

Happy Birthday to Blog

My blog is now two years old today. Here are a few updates to my November 2004 postings:
1) I have managed to post semi-regularly these past two years, sometimes in binges, sometimes less than once a month
2) Febreze and Lysol spray are still not recommended as a substitute for bathing, although they are better than nothing if your only other option is not bathing
3) Black Friday is still crazy and sane people should avoid it. Yes, I’m planning to be @ Fry’s when it opens this Friday
4) The Nintendo DS is the fastest selling video games system in Japan in history. It sold 10 million units 2 months faster than the PS2 which was the former record holder. They now have an improved, slimmer version and it’s still a relative bargain compared to the PSP

What else is new? I’m sitting on a pile of Wiis (not quite literally but they’re on the same piece of furniture I’m sitting on), I still go to the same school, have the same friends, work at the same job, and drive the same truck. I’ve moved from one coast to the other and back again. Lots of people want me to introduce my girlfriend (which to the best of my knowledge I don’t have one, but that doesn’t stop people from asking anyway) to them. There is finally an mp3 player on the market that is as good as a Creative Zen but Apple still can’t match it. Intel now has a processor line that doesn’t suck. And most importantly, I have to ration my Vanilla Coke as it is no longer available.

November 5th

Remember, remember, the 5th of November
Gunpowder Treason and plot ;
I know of no reason why the Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.

Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes,
'Twas his intent.
To blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below.
Poor old England to overthrow.
By God's providence he was catch'd,
With a dark lantern and burning match

Holloa boys, Holloa boys, let the bells ring
Holloa boys, Holloa boys, God save the King!

Hip hip Hoorah !
Hip hip Hoorah !

A penny loaf to feed ol'Pope,
A farthing cheese to choke him.
A pint of beer to rinse it down,
A faggot of sticks to burn him.
Burn him in a tub of tar,'
Burn him like a blazing star.
Burn his body from his head,
Then we'll say: ol'Pope is dead.


Exactly four-hundred one years ago (give or take a few minutes) Guy Fawkes was caught attempting to rig the Parliament building to explode during the opening session, attempting to kill the entire body and King James I. James was a Protestant and did not answer to the Pope which enraged the Catholics in the country. A group of them believed that killing the king would return the religious rule of the Roman Church to Britain. Naturally they all failed and were executed.

Support Memo

Here's a tech support memo from 1989 relating to the track balls in computer mice:

Abstract: MOUSE BALLS NOW AVAILABLE AS FRU (Field Replaceable Unit)

TEXT:

MOUSE BALLS ARE NOW AVAILABLE AS A FRU. IF A MOUSE FAILS TO OPERATE,OR SHOULD PERFORM ERRATICALLY, IT MAY BE IN NEED OF BALL REPLACEMENT. BECAUSE OF THE DELICATE NATURE OF THIS PROCEDURE, REPLACEMENT OF MOUSE BALLS SHOULD BE ATTEMPTED BY TRAINED PERSONNEL ONLY.

BEFORE ORDERING,DETERMINE TYPE OF MOUSE BALLS REQUIRED BY EXAMINING THE UNDERSIDE OF EACH MOUSE. DOMESTIC BALLS WILL BE LARGER AND HARDER THAN FOREIGN BALLS. BALL REMOVAL PROCEDURES DIFFER,DEPENDING UPON MANUFACTURER OF THE MOUSE. FOREIGN BALLS CAN BE REPLACED USING THE POP-OFF METHOD, AND DOMESTIC BALLS REPLACED USING THE TWIST-OFF METHOD. MOUSE BALLS ARE NOT USUALLY STATIC SENSITIVE, HOWEVER, EXCESSIVE HANDLING CAN RESULT IN SUDDEN DISCHARGE. UPON COMPLETION OF BALL REPLACEMENT, THE MOUSE MAY BE USED IMMEDIATELY.

IT IS RECOMMENDED THAT EACH SERVICER HAVE A PAIR OF BALLS FOR MAINTAINING OPTIMUM CUSTOMER SATISFACTION,AND THAT ANY CUSTOMER MISSING HIS BALLS SHOULD SUSPECT LOCAL PERSONNEL OF REMOVING THESE NECESSARY FUNCTIONAL ITEMS.
P/N33F8462 -- DOMESTIC MOUSE BALLS
P/N33F8461 -- FOREIGN MOUSE BALLS

Taken from this site here.

Yet, I’d like to Super Size

Last night I watched the movie “Super Size Me” all the way through for the first time. After watching it, I can honestly say that I have never craved McDonald’s food as much as I did while watching that movie. The host of the documentary, Morgan Spurlock, decided to see what would happen if he ate 3 meals at McDonald’s everyday for a month.
I watched as he tried to eat everything on the menu at least once during the month, and would Super Size his value meal whenever asked. I laughed when on the second day he puked his guts trying to eat a double-quarter-pounder meal. Why was this so funny you may ask? It’s because my friends and I had contests in middle school as two who could eat the Super Sized Double Quarter Pounder Meal the fastest, including all of the 32oz of Coke. Morgan was constantly commenting on how huge his drink was that he was getting. I can drink several times that much liquid in a single sitting.
He must have had a very slow metabolism as he gained almost 25 pounds in that particular month. He averaged a little over 5,000 calories per day. That really doesn’t seem like a huge amount to me. Drinking 64oz of Coke in a day? I don’t see the problem.
I’m by no means the poster child for healthy eating; quite the contrary. I shovel more crap into my body than most people I know. I’m also in better shape than most people I know. I keep a balance between healthy and crappy eating. Yes, I eat a few thousand calories more than most people on a daily basis, but I keep my metabolism high and I’m training for a marathon. Could I eat fast food 3 meals a day and not gain weight? I could if I worked out more. I’ve done it before but usually try not to, solely because it’s expensive.
Is McDonald’s food healthy? No where close to it. Can people get fat from eating too much fast food? I’d say so. But I’m not going to blame the fast food companies for people being fat. If people were so worried about their weight they’d either eat something healthier or exercise more. If they’re too apathetic to actively do anything about their weight, they have absolutely NO RIGHT to complain to ANYONE about being fat. Thankfully congress passed a law forbidding people from suing businesses for MAKING them into the fat pigs they are. Parents are responsible for making sure their kids eat enough healthy food. People are responsible for ensuring they eat a balanced diet. As far as I know, there aren’t any fast food companies strapping people down and force feeding their food into people’s stomachs. Now, I’m off to grab something from the drive-thru after school.

Letter to a Senator

Here's a letter I found while browsing. I think I like the author's idea.

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes:
As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Immigration and Naturalization Service in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, what I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.

I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year, so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of the last five years taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively?
This would yield an excellent return for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005 and I estimated a gross savings approximating $72,000. After the fine this would yield me a net savings of $70,000.

In addition, I would reap the other benefits of being an illegal alien such as free health care, avoidance of paying Social Security taxes, buying automobile insurance, serving on jury panels, etc. If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent


Original post can be found on strangepolitics.com

Untitled

Happy Monday to everyone. Is that an oxymoron? Oh well, if it is it isn’t as bad as “good morning” in the contradictory phrase category. Yesterday my entire family got together for my sisters’ birthday, which was Saturday. So happy birthday to the two of them, and anyone else who happened to have a birthday this past weekend.

Right now I’m sitting at school waiting around for Brenda to get out of class now that mine are over. Brandon and I drove separately today so I don’t have to wait around for him. I really need to work on my accounting and Japanese homework, so I might do that as soon as I’m done screwing around on the computer.

To add to the unrelated ramblings of my fingers, we are having a Halloween/costume party for our group at church. So far 4 of us have decided to go as the Straw Hat Pirates from One Piece. We’ll be hitting up the second-hand stores in the near future to find clothes for our costumes. It should be very interesting.