Saturday, January 27, 2007

Squirrels ate my Pizza

Yes, some squirrels ate my pizza. I generally keep food outside in my barbeque that won’t fit in my refrigerator since it is kept about the same temperature outside. I probably wouldn’t keep things like meat or milk outside since the temps aren’t consistent, but I put a pizza out there two days ago. I keep things like pizza in the BBQ since it is enclosed therefore bugs and critters will leave it alone. I guess that is no longer the case as I went out to get the last few pieces of pepperoni for breakfast this afternoon only to find holes chewed in the box and all of the toppings missing from my pizza. My only guess as to how something got in there was that it crawled through a hole where ashes and grease drain out of the bottom and into a pan. Some squirrel would have had to jump up and grab the grease pan, then squeeze through the hole and into the grill in order to get access to the pizza box. There was a slice that appeared to be untouched, but I didn’t feel like giving my immune system a heavy workout this weekend.

Friday, January 19, 2007

We'd Still Have Snow if it wasn't for Global Warming

The snow finally melted. This is the first time in my life that snow has remained on the ground in Seattle for 10 days straight. Today the rain melted the remainder.
   On a related note, the Weather Channel has a show dedicated exclusively to "global warming" where the host, Heidi Cullen, now argues and any meteorologist or climatologist who denies human pollution as the cause of global warming should be stripped of their credentials by the American Meteorological Society. Obviously the planet has never warmed up before and we would still be living in an ice age if humans hadn't started burning things, releasing environmentally harmful gases into the atmosphere.
I still don't know a group more dogmatic than mainstream scientists. If a scientist proposes an alternate theory to anything mainstream, that still fits in with all data available, it most likely will not be published in any journals because it is different. For example, New Scientist had an article claiming that the only reason that the Big Bang is the predominant theory in cosmology is because no one is willing to fund the research of scientists who argue otherwise.
   On an unrelated topic, Congress is trying to raise the minimum wage in a few parts of the country, except in territories where Pelosi's constituents have large manufacturing facilities.
   I guess that's it for my random update.

Random Quote of the Moment:
   Yeah, well what you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar.
      -Jayne in Serenity

I lied, there's still some ice and snow around here, the warmish rain hasn't melted it all quite yet.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Plan for World Peace

Many people blame the USA for not having world peace. People hate that we have some freedoms and money that they do not have. If we removed ourselves from the rest of the world, all of the world's problems will magically disappear. So here's a plan to bring on world peace:

The Plan for Peace
(credited to Robin Williams)

"I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan."

1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past &present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those "good ole boys", we will never "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave.We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH... learn it... or LEAVE... Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

Monday, January 08, 2007

10 Funny Lines

Here are the top ten Star Wars lines which were improved by substituting a word with "pants".

I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your pants.

Governer Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's pants.

In his pants you will find a new definition of pain and suffering.

Your pants, you will not need them.

You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.

I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.

Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.

The Force is strong in my pants.

You are unwise to lower your pants.

I find your lack of pants disturbing.

Honorable Mentions:

I'd just as soon pants a Wookiie!

Don't pants me again, Admiral.

Taken from Keeper of Lists, Top 243 Star Wars Lines Improved By Replacing A Word With "Pants"

Friday, January 05, 2007

Is It War Yet?

Wednesday night, Mexican gunmen attacked a US National Guard outpost in Arizona. What was the official US response to having members of our military attacked on US soil by a foreign invading party? Nothing.

Thursday, Bush announced that he wants illegal immigrants to be eligible to collect social security checks. I think there’s something wrong with this picture.