Sunday, February 06, 2005

English is a hard to learn

If English is not your first language, it is one of the hardest to learn. There are many pronunciations for the same letter combinations, that getting a firm grasp takes years, even for a native speaker. Here’s why:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France(Surprise!). Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea or is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

One more: Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

11 comments:

TBQelite said...

There are many of those who speak English as their native (and sole) language who should take some English classes.

Neemund said...

I probably should take an English class; I haven't taken one for almost 4 years. I didn't learn how to spell correctly until I was in highschool and was finally allowed to type assignments. I guess my English also improved significantly after I quit taking classes.

TBQelite said...

At least highschool level classes...

I think BCC requires English 101 for most if not all of it's degrees. I could be wrong about that but you may want to take that.

Rabenstrange said...

And why do people park on driveways and drive on parkways? Why do adults commit adultery while infancy is a state of being?

Do horses horse around? I may have let the cat out of the bag, but who put the cat in the bag? How many ways are there to skin a cat? What is the distance between a rock and a hardplace? Isn't a rock a hardplace in and of itself?

Neemund said...

I thought of adding more to the list, but as usual, I was lazy. The post was a slightly edited email I got from Mikayla (yes if someone wants to share anything in my house they email it).

TBQelite said...

That sounds like a more convenient way of showing off stuff.

annarose said...

haha...those are all awesome...

Butterfly said...

lol

The Shadow Walker said...

Well, my question is is that if we call our grammer and spelling classes English, and classes to learn foreign languages by the language name...what do foreign countries call their grammer classes?
And why do we call what we speak English? We are Americans! Japanese speak Japanese. French speak French. English speak English! We speak American! Thus that should mean that when you learn English, you are learning the foreign language of English spoken by the English!
And that should mean that American Studies should be our grammer class!!

barath said...

hai,thanks for visiting my blog.and it is true that"English is hard to learn"(english is not my first language).your blog is interesting to read.

Kate Robinson said...

The English would never refer to what we speak as "English."
I even met an Iraqi who was trained in England and commented, "these American boys are very nice. Don't know how to speak the language though."