Support Memo

Here's a tech support memo from 1989 relating to the track balls in computer mice:

Abstract: MOUSE BALLS NOW AVAILABLE AS FRU (Field Replaceable Unit)

TEXT:

MOUSE BALLS ARE NOW AVAILABLE AS A FRU. IF A MOUSE FAILS TO OPERATE,OR SHOULD PERFORM ERRATICALLY, IT MAY BE IN NEED OF BALL REPLACEMENT. BECAUSE OF THE DELICATE NATURE OF THIS PROCEDURE, REPLACEMENT OF MOUSE BALLS SHOULD BE ATTEMPTED BY TRAINED PERSONNEL ONLY.

BEFORE ORDERING,DETERMINE TYPE OF MOUSE BALLS REQUIRED BY EXAMINING THE UNDERSIDE OF EACH MOUSE. DOMESTIC BALLS WILL BE LARGER AND HARDER THAN FOREIGN BALLS. BALL REMOVAL PROCEDURES DIFFER,DEPENDING UPON MANUFACTURER OF THE MOUSE. FOREIGN BALLS CAN BE REPLACED USING THE POP-OFF METHOD, AND DOMESTIC BALLS REPLACED USING THE TWIST-OFF METHOD. MOUSE BALLS ARE NOT USUALLY STATIC SENSITIVE, HOWEVER, EXCESSIVE HANDLING CAN RESULT IN SUDDEN DISCHARGE. UPON COMPLETION OF BALL REPLACEMENT, THE MOUSE MAY BE USED IMMEDIATELY.

IT IS RECOMMENDED THAT EACH SERVICER HAVE A PAIR OF BALLS FOR MAINTAINING OPTIMUM CUSTOMER SATISFACTION,AND THAT ANY CUSTOMER MISSING HIS BALLS SHOULD SUSPECT LOCAL PERSONNEL OF REMOVING THESE NECESSARY FUNCTIONAL ITEMS.
P/N33F8462 -- DOMESTIC MOUSE BALLS
P/N33F8461 -- FOREIGN MOUSE BALLS

Taken from this site here.

Yet, I’d like to Super Size

Last night I watched the movie “Super Size Me” all the way through for the first time. After watching it, I can honestly say that I have never craved McDonald’s food as much as I did while watching that movie. The host of the documentary, Morgan Spurlock, decided to see what would happen if he ate 3 meals at McDonald’s everyday for a month.
I watched as he tried to eat everything on the menu at least once during the month, and would Super Size his value meal whenever asked. I laughed when on the second day he puked his guts trying to eat a double-quarter-pounder meal. Why was this so funny you may ask? It’s because my friends and I had contests in middle school as two who could eat the Super Sized Double Quarter Pounder Meal the fastest, including all of the 32oz of Coke. Morgan was constantly commenting on how huge his drink was that he was getting. I can drink several times that much liquid in a single sitting.
He must have had a very slow metabolism as he gained almost 25 pounds in that particular month. He averaged a little over 5,000 calories per day. That really doesn’t seem like a huge amount to me. Drinking 64oz of Coke in a day? I don’t see the problem.
I’m by no means the poster child for healthy eating; quite the contrary. I shovel more crap into my body than most people I know. I’m also in better shape than most people I know. I keep a balance between healthy and crappy eating. Yes, I eat a few thousand calories more than most people on a daily basis, but I keep my metabolism high and I’m training for a marathon. Could I eat fast food 3 meals a day and not gain weight? I could if I worked out more. I’ve done it before but usually try not to, solely because it’s expensive.
Is McDonald’s food healthy? No where close to it. Can people get fat from eating too much fast food? I’d say so. But I’m not going to blame the fast food companies for people being fat. If people were so worried about their weight they’d either eat something healthier or exercise more. If they’re too apathetic to actively do anything about their weight, they have absolutely NO RIGHT to complain to ANYONE about being fat. Thankfully congress passed a law forbidding people from suing businesses for MAKING them into the fat pigs they are. Parents are responsible for making sure their kids eat enough healthy food. People are responsible for ensuring they eat a balanced diet. As far as I know, there aren’t any fast food companies strapping people down and force feeding their food into people’s stomachs. Now, I’m off to grab something from the drive-thru after school.

Letter to a Senator

Here's a letter I found while browsing. I think I like the author's idea.

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes:
As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Immigration and Naturalization Service in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, what I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.

I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year, so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of the last five years taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively?
This would yield an excellent return for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005 and I estimated a gross savings approximating $72,000. After the fine this would yield me a net savings of $70,000.

In addition, I would reap the other benefits of being an illegal alien such as free health care, avoidance of paying Social Security taxes, buying automobile insurance, serving on jury panels, etc. If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent


Original post can be found on strangepolitics.com

Untitled

Happy Monday to everyone. Is that an oxymoron? Oh well, if it is it isn’t as bad as “good morning” in the contradictory phrase category. Yesterday my entire family got together for my sisters’ birthday, which was Saturday. So happy birthday to the two of them, and anyone else who happened to have a birthday this past weekend.

Right now I’m sitting at school waiting around for Brenda to get out of class now that mine are over. Brandon and I drove separately today so I don’t have to wait around for him. I really need to work on my accounting and Japanese homework, so I might do that as soon as I’m done screwing around on the computer.

To add to the unrelated ramblings of my fingers, we are having a Halloween/costume party for our group at church. So far 4 of us have decided to go as the Straw Hat Pirates from One Piece. We’ll be hitting up the second-hand stores in the near future to find clothes for our costumes. It should be very interesting.

Quiz 2006

Today was the first quiz meet of the new TBQ season. I coached Aaron and Nat in the A1 level. They really need to study more. They won 1 of 9 matches, losing 2 matches to our other team. They lost to the 2nd and 11th ranked teams in the country, which is to be expected, but neither of those teams were at the top of their game. My team could have and should have done better, but they didn’t. Evan wanted to humiliate them by putting them in the higher division so they would step up the work and rise to the competition level. Did it work? Probably not. Brenda scored nearly as many points as Nat and Aaron combined. Good job Brenda. Aaron, are you planning to let both of your sisters beat you next time?

Leave My Space Alone

I’m seeing tons of campaign ads against Initiative 933 on TV and I’m hearing them all over the radio as well. They keep telling everyone how it is a bad idea and that everyone is against it. It claims to destroy farmland and cost taxpayers money. So I decided to go to the Secretary of State’s site to find out exactly what I-933 is all about.
If you have any interest in reading it, here is the entire initiative. If you’re too lazy to read six pages, so be it. I-933 essentially restricts government agencies from placing more restrictions on private property. All new restrictions must specifically state which pieces of property will be restricted and how, as well as how the public welfare will benefit from these restrictions. Any agency placing a restriction that would reduce the existing market value of any non-publicly owned property must provide compensation to the owners of said properties equal to the reduced market value of their property.
What does this initiative do? It says that my property belongs to me and is in my control. As long as I do not endanger myself or my neighbors with the use of my land, it’s mine to do with as I wish. If I want to plant fruit trees in my front yard and along the side of my house, that’s my business not the governments. If I want to cut down the trees in my back yard to get a better view of the lake, that’s also my business. If I want to sell the family farm to a developer who wants to build a new movie theater, it’s mine to sell, then it’s theirs to develop.
This initiative would definitely be a step in the right direction and I like it. It’s only a small step in the right direction but a step nonetheless.

Random Quote: "When the going gets tough, the tough use duct tape." -Random T-shirt

Today’s Business Law Class

Random Quote: If you wait too long for the perfect moment, the perfect moment will pass you by.

What does that quote have to do with my business law class you may ask? Nothing whatsoever. And I’m not currently working as a sniper so it really doesn’t apply to me, but it was a random quote I just read, so there. Anyways…from the title you can probably guess that I had my business law class today. We had a discussion about a few of the case studies from the textbook, one about Ben & Jerry’s and the other about Wal-Mart.
The Ben & Jerry’s case study was about the company not partnering with a particular Japanese company to distribute their products throughout Japan. The issue arouse because B&J decided not to partner with the particular company because it did not have a strong track record of “social responsibility”. B&J believes that all companies should be “socially responsible” by giving money to random groups. They notably give millions to dollars to such organizations as MoveOn.org, the DNC, True Majority, and other such organizations. The class generally agreed that B&J had the right to work with a company who’s stated values more closely represented that of their own. I don’t think I’ve ever bought their ice cream and have no intention of giving them any of my business; I will eat it if someone else buys it, but I’ve got better places to spend my money.
The Wal-Mart case study was very similar. Wal-Mart chooses not to carry a large variety of magazines, CDs, DVDs, and video games that they deem inappropriate. This time the class deemed that Wal-Mart shouldn’t be pushing their own values onto everyone else by using their own, arbitrary morals in deciding what products to sell. I’m convinced that people have a generally negative view of Wal-Mart mainly based upon media criticism. I like the company but very rarely shop there for two reasons. First, I try to avoid cheap, Chinese crap as much as possible, of which Wal-Mart is the largest distributor. Second, I only patronize businesses where people speak fluent English; the Wal-Marts in this area do not hire very many people who speak English nor do these people generally shop there.
I argued that these cases are essentially the same as companies have a right to choose whom they do business with and who they do not do business with. The biggest difference is that Wal-Mart is a much bigger company and has much more leverage in this area. Also, Wal-Mart gives millions of dollars to conservative organizations that I like, as opposed to Ben & Jerry’s who does the opposite.
Thus concludes my second post for the week.

Happy Oktober to Ye

School is in its third week, the temperature is consistently below 80ºF, and I haven’t posted in two weeks; just my typical fall. I’m done with my classes for today and am now killing time until Brenda gets out of class. After that we convince Brandon that we’re indeed done with school therefore he should be too; followed shortly by our departure from the campus.

I’m indeed back from my excursion out East. It was hot and humid during that week, well beyond what I am typically accustomed to here in the dry Pacific Northwest. I saw old buildings, some cool stuff in museums, annoying politicians, armed military escorts carrying enough firepower to level buildings, more historical buildings, and entire city blocks where I didn’t hear a single word of English spoken by those passing by.

I can now cross Delaware off my short list of states I’ve never visited as we stopped there to grab food at the nearest Cracker Barrel. I also ate some great food everywhere else on the trip. They have “5 Guys” restaurants which remind me of a hybrid between “In & Out Burger” and “Dick’s” therefore it was pretty good food. They also had teriyaki which wasn’t that great and lots of street vendors with food that was great. I definitely gave my digestive system, as well as my immune system, a good workout.

After getting back home I went to the Western Washington State Fair in Puyallup with Shadow Walker and his siblings. We were supposed to meet with TBQelite and Gerhalt but that meeting never took place. It was also one of those weird days when none of us had strong appetites, so we cancelled this year’s Earthquake burger eating contest. For those of you who don’t know Earthquake burgers, they are roughly one pound of lean beef grilled fresh with onions; but they cook down to be only about 7” in diameter. They are also some of the best tasting burgers around. We weren’t in the mood for a heavy lunch so we journeyed to Miako’s for normal teriyaki instead.

Those are my highlights since my last post. Maybe I’ll post something interesting later.