Thursday, January 27, 2005

Nothing New

I really want to post something cool right now that will get everyone laughing and thinking at the same time. Right now, I'm too tired / lazy (pick one) to do anything like that. Lately I’ve been working many extra hours at the print shop and that has taken almost all of my free time from me. With the exception of Rabenstrange getting his gym locker and all of his stuff stolen from it, nothing interesting has been happening around here. So to keep things interesting I’ve searched through my Glenn archive and have found the 5 stages of drunkenness. I have never actually been drunk, sounds quite unpleasant from the liquid’s perspective, so I’ll just have to take his word on this.

The 5 Stages of Drunkenness:

Stage 1 – SMART This is when you suddenly become the foremost expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know that you know everything and want to pass on this knowledge to anyone who will listen to your wisdom. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is obviously very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire world and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

Stage 3 - RICH This is when you suddenly become the wealthiest person in the entire world. You can buy rounds of drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked outside. You can also make large bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet because you are filthy RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are still the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, and you are definitely BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!

Stage 5 - INVISIBLE This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU unless you want them to see you. You dance on a table to impress only the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see or hear you at all. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words better than anyone else.

6 comments:

TBQelite said...

I find that to be greatly amusing.

Neemund said...

I figured you would.

EJB said...

Yes I agree. Very funny/amusing. By the way, my sister said something that might give you a chuckle(or infate your head). She said, and I quote: "I love Rich. He's so funny." She was looking at your blog at the time. Of course she doesn't really have romantic fealings for you. It's just her way of saying really or very. But I found it amusing.

Neemund said...

Don't worry, I really think she's a little too young for me...actually alot too young. Plus she's almost as annoying as you describe her to be. But so are you, in your taunting of the others in their obessant playing of the rocket game now.

EJB said...

Yeah, your right she's almost 9 years younger then you. And again I did not get them addicted on porpose! It's just an added bonus. I'm so bad, I ought to be ashamed. And plus, it's not like your not annoying as well. And almost as annoying!!!! Almost as annoying!!! She is way more annoying then I describe her!!! You're very lucky you don't have to live with her. If she ends up being around for some event you will she that I'm more tolarent of her then she deserves. Despite the fact that she thinks your funny *shakes head sadly* she has said some none to kind remakes about you that don't bare repeating. At least I know I am annoying, and when I am being annoying. You're probably lucky you haven't had the time to get addicted to that game. *joking*I'm not addicted I can stop anytime I want. So stop saying I can't!!!*/joking* I think that they should just give up. There's no way in a million years they can beat me. That probably falls under the annoying taunting of others catigory huh?

TBQelite said...

She is way more annoying then I describe her!!! You're very lucky you don't have to live with her.I think all people will say such things about their siblings. Whether it is true or not is usually debatable.